The Unpublished Benefits of Being an American Hombrewer Association Member

I am a dues paying member of the American Hombrewers Association (AHA). It is a great venue for homebrewers to learn about making great beer. As part of my membership I get several magazines per year, daily newsletters, discounted beer at participating microbreweries, and plenty of educational material related to the hobby. I also received a free bumper sticker that says "Relax, Don't Worry, Have a Homebrew...". I put it on the back of my truck, much to the wife's dismay. I'm very proud of my little truck decoration. Little did I know that it carried an extra benefit that isn't published in the AHA material.



While driving through one of my local Louisiana towns, trying to learn to sing Panis Angelicus (almost like Pavarotti) with my head in the clouds, there I spied one of the local law enforcement officials, cleverly concealed behind a tree, clocking me at 45 in a 30 mph zone. I gripped the wheel and assumed my best driving position, immediately slowing down (as if that ever does any good) and looking forward, hoping that perhaps he was looking for someone younger and faster. It was not to be; he pulled out, got behind me, and flipped on his party lights. I pulled over and did some quick housekeeping so as not to reveal any past and recently empty indiscretions from the weekend's camping trip. I gave him my license and insurance card and waited patiently for my sentence while he walked back to his cruiser. He returned shortly.

That's when it happened; when I realized what the unwritten rules of membership. "Are you a homebrewer?" he asked. I replied to the affirmative, of course. He said "So am I". I was shocked; I thought that I was the only human being stuck in homebrew limbo around this Coors Light culture. That began a wonderful 10 minute dialogue on the benefits and wonders of homebrewing. We talked about who we buy our materials from, the differences between all-grain and partial grain brewing, how to best cool wort in these hot climes, the hop shortage, our favorite styles of beer, kegging versus bottling, various types of equipment and expenses, and so on. I got his name and told him where I lived (as if he couldn't have figured that out) and he told me to come by the station to visit anytime. I told him that I'd give him a shout the next time I brewed. When it was over, he handed me my cards and told me to have a nice day. Not even a warning ticket or lecture! I figure I avoided $100 in fines, and I met a fellow homebrewer.

I can't wait until my membership expires and I get a nice new bumper sticker for the wife's car. I hope she doesn't get pulled over by a tee-totaling recovering alcoholic cop with an attitude...